Resoluting

Is resoluting not a word?!   Spell check seems to think it is not a real word.  But I am making it one.  Resoluting - the act of following your resolutions, New Year's or not.

My one true resolution this year was to cook more.  I decided on this goal because currently, I pretty much never cook.  I don't know when or why I gave up on preparing meals of any sort, but it's a slump I've been in for a few months now.  This means all of the following:

a) Dinner around here pretty much is whatever Mark or I find to eat on our own.  He might take the time to prepare a sandwich or nachos, or even cook up some chicken or chili, but me?  I just eat whatever is quick and easy.  I am not a patient in the kitchen.  When I am hungry, I want to eat NOW, so it usually means I'll make a Lean Cuisine in the microwave or eat cereal.

b) I never have anything to eat for lunch, so I end up bringing things to work like granola bars, bags of goldfish and a tortilla.  Some days I come to school with nothing at all to eat, and then I have to scavenge around for snacks. (I have zero time to run out and get lunch).  This makes for a hungry afternoon.

c) The above make it pretty obvious: my eating habits are dreadful and far from healthy.

So I am resoluting to COOK MORE and eat less crap.  Following along this same line, I want to be healthy this year.  I have actually lost weight since August {turns out running around all day and having zero break time means that I eat less during the day, who would have thought} but I have not done any type of excercise since this summer, when my work hours were later and I could go for a run before work.  So I headed over to the YMCA last weekend and signed up for a free week's pass.  If I feel like I can actually work trips to the Y into my routine, thus making the membership dues worthwhile, then I'll officially join when my week is up.  So far, so good.  The Y is literally next door to my school (read: SUPER EASY to go to after work) and less than five minutes from my house (read: SUPER EASY to go to all the time), so I'm hoping I can get back in the groove of working out.  Plus, this Y is way nice with fancy TV's on the cardio machines and an indoor {and outdoor} swimming pool.  Way more perks than the McKinney YMCA.

Besides cooking in the kitchen and kicking booty at the gym, I am also back in school again, taking my last two classes this spring {yay!}.  So far, I like them both, but LOVE one of them - a class on Children and Young Adult Literature.  I get to read lots of books and blog about them, which hello, are two of my favorite things to do!  I'm going to have zero free time until May, but hey, I like it that way.  Or at least I am telling myself that now!

Dear Monday

Dear Monday,

So we meet again.

The temps fell substantially today, making it actually feel like Thanksgiving is just days away. {Also, wow, when did that happen?!}  Mark made the first fire in our fireplace tonight.  This is my first time having a wood burning fireplace and I was thinking I wouldn't like it, because I assumed it was going to smell like a camp fire.  But it actually doesn't smell at all!  Everything just wisps right up into the chimney like it's supposed to.  And since the homeowner before us left more firewood stacked up in the backyard than we could ever possibly use, we have some "free heat" for the cold weather.  Gus seems to like it too, even if he is a bit wary of the crackling flames.

I am really over grad school right now.  It's just something else I have to do every night, so I'm looking forward to the break during December.  If everything pans out right, this Spring will be my last semester of classes (yay!) and I will be a full-fledged, real teacher next fall. {But isn't that what I already am??}  I am really just trusting God that things will fall together (like they always seem to do) and I'll have a place next year.  Be where I'm supposed to be.  In the meantime, I try not to freak out about it all and really take it one day at a time.  Don't think about the paper due next week or the lesson plans for Thursday or the degree plan I need to get signed by my (mostly absent) advisor.  I just focus on what I have to do today, what I have to do right now.  I wonder, will life always be this busy?

Something else that happened - my birthday.  It was a nice day and a nice weekend with friends and family.  But then it came and went, and it was back to the regular days.  I'm trying hard not to stress out about... life.  Work and school, mainly.  I hate that feeling of always feeling like there's something you should be doing.  Reading. Homework. Studying. Paperwork for grad school. Figuring out where I'll be next year.  Taking state tests.  Signing up for them.  Reviewing for them.  Passing them.  Planning for school tomorrow.  Making everything I need at school.  Replying to emails.  Sleeping.  Treading water.. staying afloat.  One of the other teacher's put it well... you fake it 'til you make it.  Even if you don't know what the heck you're doing... fly by the seat of your pants.  Pretend you do.  Odds are, no one will notice.  Right?

Life is busy, but it's also really good.  Really, really good.  I try to remind myself everyday that I'm lucky to be where I am.  To not get swept up in the little things.  To not feel guilty when I just want to watch TV without also working on homework.  Or to read a book for fun, not because I have to for class or school.  Or to sleep late on the weekends.  Not do the laundry.  Leave the dirty dishes in the sink (cause really, that's where they always are!).

So Monday, I'll see you again next week.  And by the time you roll around, I'll have finished the homework that's due, turned in the paperwork, sent in the emails, even taken another one of those pesky state tests.  And I'll be one week closer to having it all figured out... for now.

so long sweet summer

Time did that thing it always does: fly. And here I am staring fall in the face, while still sweating in the 100 degree temps.  This weekend was a good chance to stop and put things on hold for a bit and I really tried not to worry about all the work I need to do for my classroom (we have parent night on Thursday, eek), all the reading I need to do for grad school (yeah, that started back up this week) and all the ‘stuff’ I always feel like I need to be doing (keeping the house clean, laundry, eating a halfway decent meal).  Mark and I went separate ways for the long weekend - he went to visit college friends at the lake, while I stayed home and hosted college friends who were visiting Dallas.  Two of my best girlfriends stayed with me for a night, and we got to all get ready for the night together {just like in the DG house}, catching up while we curled our hair and did our makeup, wondering aloud who would get married next, have kids next, or just stay the same.  On Saturday, we got to meet baby Hadley, and then watch the Texas game together on a {hot} patio.  But the best part was when we all stayed up until one in the morning, sipping wine, eating bon bons (literally) and just being together.  Times with friends like that are harder to come by these days, when we all live in different cities and have to, you know, go to work every day.

Now I have the Sunday Blues on a Monday night, anxious about a paper I need to write for grad school and a presentation I need to put together for parent night, and it reminds me of the same anxieties I would have at UT, when I was juggling classes and jobs and the social calendar of a college student.  It’s not that I’m worried I won’t get it all accomplished - I know it will all get done - but I still have that little nagging feeling that I should be reading or studying right now, not watching a game on TV or going out to dinner with Mark.  If I’m awake, I should be being productive, right?  At least folding some laundry or unloading the dishwasher?  But I tell myself it can wait until tomorrow.  For now, it’s all on hold.

** good news **

Hi Friends!  Whew. Time is flying.  Like whoa.  So much for that little blip of unemployment.  That came and went.  I am now back to work at my school, only as an associate teacher.  It’s a new position at my school this year, and there are two other girls besides me working in this role.  We are each teaching in one of the three first grade classrooms, as a second teacher.  We are kind of like student teachers/interns/fellows... depending on what program you are used to seeing.  We are also all guinea pigs to this program at my school, so it’s definitely a learn as you go process!

So far, just one week into my new role, I L-O-V-E it. Obsessed. Thrilled. Uber excited. When I [finally] decided to chase my dream of being a teacher last Spring, I could have not have planned out a more perfect transition into my new career.  I am getting to learn from an awesome experienced teacher, be in the classroom full-time (and get paid), and be involved in all parts of the preparing, planning, teaching and assessing throughout the year.  And first grade is way fun. I thought I wanted a more “older young grade,” like 3rd of 4th grade, but this is so incredibly fun.  Everything in first grade is cute.  My lead teacher is basically my kindred spirit, because she gets a lot of her ideas from teaching blogs and Pinterest, she loves cute fonts and fun colors, and she is super organized.  And she trusts me and encourages me to offer my ideas, change the way she does things and run with new ideas and lessons.  Oh and, my official mentor at school this year is our new interim Lower School Head (who my friend Sara knows in real life too) and she is AWESOME.  Like probably my new most favorite person, ever.  It is a complete 180 degree change from my work life in the past year.  I feel super blessed and incredibly lucky to have this opportunity to learn and prepare for my life as a TEACHER.  I love it.

And on the subject of good news and life totally ROCKING, I also finished the last of my prerequisite classes in grad school this summer, so I only have nine (!! time is flying !!) more hours of content coursework left for my degree.  AND, I took one of my two state certification tests last weekend (the tougher of the two) and PASSED.  WOOO!  That was such a huge relief off my shoulders.  I start the fall semester in a couple weeks and the kids in my class will show up on Tuesday for Meet the Teacher!  Whoa.  It’s happening, like, for real.

College

Howdy.  This post is coming straight to you from TWU, where I am working towards my master's degree.  My lone class this summer has an orientation this evening and I got to campus over an hour early.  So I'm sitting in an old building, surfing the web and waiting for 5:30 to roll around.

Thoughts on college campuses: they all smell the same.  I walked into this building and was hit with the smell of.... college.  It was like I was back in Jester, cutting through on my way to a class in the that great big lecture hall building.. that I can totally not remember the name of.  Help me out, Sadie.  The one next to the PCL and across from the B-School?  With all the escalators in it?  How have I been out of college for so long that I cannot even remember the names of the buildings anymore?!  Ah.

But anyways, college buildings are all pretty much the same.  They are all a little dated [built in the 70's-ish], have really random furniture scattered all around them [tables in the hallways, mix and match arm chairs] {currently sitting in one now} and have lots of empty hallways and old elevators.  And they all smell the same.

Over and out.